Carrabba and Newski live
Chris Carrabba (Dashboard Confessional) and Brett Newski discuss escapism during covid, stage fright, skateboard injuries, Evil Knievel, NBA, going viral due to music pirating, navigating the online world and mindfulness to defeat physical pain.
More on Chris: https://store.dashboardconfessional.com/
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EXCERPT:
Brett: Starting things in general is just very hard. I’ve said this on the podcast before, but one of my favorite quotes of all time is by Henry Rollins, which said something along the lines of, “The hardest part of going for a jog is getting out the door.”
It’s so true! The first three blocks, you’re feeling rickety, and telling yourself it’s not going to happen.
Chris: Isn’t the same thing true for music? For me, the hardest part of writing a song is starting the song, starting the process. And for me, the hardest part of a show is walking out on stage. That’s when all the fear and doubt creeps in, seconds before I walk out on stage. And it’s gone quickly, but it’s not a little hurdle. It’s a massive hurdle.
Brett: Do you still have those backstage fears where you peak around the curtain and go, “ugh, who’s going to show up tonight?”
Chris: Oh I wouldn’t dare. My stage fright gets so accute that I wouldn’t dare look out into that audience before I go out. Now, that’s different than saying I won’t go out into the crowd when the other bands are playing, because I’m part of it watching someone else.
But I would never peak from behind the curtain to figure out what I’m gonna see when I get out there. No way, no way. I’m quite happy to go out there and watch the band standing with the audience, and being a part of it, but the idea that I’ll be the center of attention is not something I savor, until I’m out there and realize I’m not the center of attention, I’m just part of it.
Brett: Maybe that’s something that never goes away. I mean, I can never get comfortable, hours and hours before a gig. I wish I could relax. I’ll be on tour with Johnny P, and he’s having the best time, he’s going to record shops, not a care in the world. And I’m cowering in the van trying to get out of my own head, and not worry about who’s coming to the show, or if my voice is going to hold up, or whatever.
Chris: I think it’s the curse of the singer. I think the singers have the least fun of anybody in the band. Your voice is a really easy thing to burn out, and that’s sitting in the back of your head at all times.
Brett: Oh it’s like that for you too, huh?
Chris: Yeah, just thinking, “What if I go to the record store today, and it’s cold. And my voice catchese something.”
Brett: Oh yeah, definitely.
Chris: I venture out there now more than I used to. I’ve decided life is way too short to just miss out on so many unique things about what we do. But for many years, I was hyper concerned that if I do something wrong…
So this is an overstatement, but if the guitar tech hurts his hand and has to go home, it’s awful, but we do the show without a guitar tech. If something happens to me, everybody has to go home. It’s a stressful thing to have to carry.
Brett: Have you ever had to cancel a show and just watch heaps of people leave?
Chris: I’ve never had it in the moment. I’ve cancelled only a handful of shows ever. My mother-in-law had a stroke, and I had to cancel half a tour a few years ago. That was difficult. But the only time I had to cancel for my own health was last year when I got COVID on the road.
Brett: Yeah.
Chris: And in 20 years that’s the only time I’ve cancelled because of my own health. I’ve cancelled for a couple of other reasons. There was a logistical thing I remember once, I don’t remember specifically what it was, but we had to cancel a European tour. I think it was a clerical issue, maybe something to do with visas. And of course the tour I referenced, which was hard but was the right decision.
I’ve always prided myself on playing with the flu, or a cold. If you can manage to get up there for two hours and then get back under the covers, you should do it, you should try. But it was a pretty good run. 20 years before I had to cancel a show before my own health.
