Adapted from the book “It’s Hard to be a Person: Defeating anxiety, surviving the world and having more fun.”
I heard Duncan Trussell once say “depression wants you to stay inside, it wants you to stay on the couch.” This got my brain churning to identify the other things anxiety and depression “want you to do”.
I’m sure everything below has been said before by someone far wiser (and more calm) than me, but here is my interoperation of what anxiety and depression want us to do, as well as some tactics I use to battle those jerks.
*WHAT ANXIETY & DEPRESSION WANT YOU TO DO…
NOT TELL ANYONE
The brain becomes a “hall of mirrors” if you hang out inside it long enough. Hanging with a buddy (or calling them up) is always a sure-fire way to get out of your own head. Your body and mind will inevitably fight you in getting out the door to see your friend, but power thru and go to the hangout. It’s the best therapy out there, and it’s free. No one ever felt worse after a good hang.
STAY INSIDE
I’ve heard this refereed to as “anticipation anxiety” and it ran my world for awhile. It works like this…you have something on the calendar, and you start obsessing about it nonstop the hours, days or weeks leading up.
Even if it’s something you enjoy (ie meetup with friends), there is still anxiety and that feeling of “oh no, there’s something I have to do later”. It leads to cancelling events last minute and even dreading things you actually love. When this feeling creeps in on me, I try to laugh in the face of the “anticipation anxiety” by actually reciting the words “I don’t listen to that silly garbage anymore” out loud.
MAGNIFY FEAR / DOUBT YOURSELF / DISTORT REALITY
If I’m in “the lurch” or feeling anxious, I’ll irrationally worry that I’ve let people down or that a friend is irritated at me. When you’re in this state, it becomes key to find a little self-awareness and not take those feelings seriously, because they probably aren't real.
A good example is getting bummed when someone doesn't respond to your email. Thoughts rush in… “oh they don’t like me”, “I’ve done them wrong”, or “they’re too important.” In actuality, people are busy and it’s nothing personal. Plus, when you drop back and try to interpret the digital ether, you might ask…”is email even real anyway?”
JUDGE YOUR BODY
The anxious state is certainly a trigger to wobbly self-confidence and irrationally judging your meat-suit AKA body.
LOSE PATIENCE
It’s very easy to always be living at least five seconds in the future. I’m constantly thinking “what must I do next?” Rather than thinking “this moment is all I have now and it doesn’t need to be changed.
TAKE BLAME
The self-beat down is a classic. I try to “kick my own ass” with a good workout, and then reevaluate the feelings of “self-blame” after I’ve broken a sweat. They often go away. If they don’t go away, I can identify with the perspective that they’re absurd, irrational and completely useless thoughts.
*Pre-order the book “It’s Hard to be a Person: Defeating anxiety, surviving the world and having more fun.”
