Getting Bullied, Eating Dirt & Signing Record Deals

We Are Elevate Everyday I am grateful I was pushed into lockers, bullied, and choked out in the halls of New Berlin West High School...because there is nothing worse than peaking in high school.

Arriving back home after three years of incessant touring and some 500 shows across North America, Europe and South Africa, I feel I’ve finally acquired a “license to chill”, a reason to lounge against the machine.

When music became my only source of income 3 years ago, I knew I'd have to take matters into my own hands. I didn’t have much for contacts, resources or marketing dollars, so inevitably it’d be D.I.Y. to the core. I booked my own shows, played for $41, and slept in pube-infested rat holes to save money on lodging. My morale consistently got crushed. I even remember crying once while driving alone across Kansas after playing three shows in a row to a total of 31 people and making $97. “What the hell am I doing with my life, I should just go back to work at McDonalds.“

But the highs always follow the lows, and the tiny speckles of glory in the buckets o' shit were enough to keep me motivated. After two years of pushing thru the gauntlet, attendance was rising. I signed two small but sturdy record deals, and was selling enough records to quit all other odd jobs. I no longer had to sleep in pube-infested rat holes, or if I did, there were far less pubes.

For all the small indie bands out there grinding it out, I feel your pain, and I salute you. You keep me motivated and also make me feel like less of a weirdo. ☺ I think it’s important we have a sense of humor about this path/industry. At the end of the day, the game is fairly stupid. Us bands must ignore the “popularity contest” side of the industry and just write quality, short, hooky songs that cater to attention spans in 2015. No one is going to give you a record deal in year 1 unless you’re a rare super-prodigy or have bags of money. Cut your teeth. It’s rewarding to start from the sewers and work up because everything feels like a bonus. For every handful of dirt you eat, there’s a worm that tastes like chicken.

The workload is infinite, and today it’s an honor and joy to sign with ELEVATE RECORDS (Rotterdam, NL). They’ll be handling label and booking duties in Benelux & Scandinavia. I will be traveling with the label to Future Music Forum in Barcelona and Reeperbahn Festival in Hamburg this September to shake hands and administer hand jobs to industry executives.

Thank you for any support you’ve given, it boosts morale more than you’d know.

Brett

 

Before We All Become Cyborgs / Cassette Release

TapeReleaseShowLet's face it, we're all going to be robots in a few years. The times are moving at hyper-speeds as we Pitchfork each other with our whatsapp & snapchats, seeking endless smart phoner boners in 6G technology. June 18 is a throwback to the analog age, as Breadking releases Brett Newski's "Hi-Fi D.I.Y", a cassette tape with 6 tracks that do not exist online. These songs can only be heard on this tape. They are not available anywhere else; not on Youtube, not on iTunes, not at Hot Topic, but maybe at your neighbors garage sale. So come out and celebrate being a lady or a dude or a lady dude but not a cyborg.

$7 at the door ($10 with a tape)

with opening acts: Ugly Brothers + King Courteen

How I Became Friends with "Buzz" from HOME ALONE

On October 3, 2010 I became Facebook friends with Buzz from the film Home Alone. I’m not talking about the “Buzz Fan Page”, I mean the actual dude. His real name is Devin Ratray, a 35-year-old huggable round man who has since retired from acting to pursue film production. Buzz is best known for eating the last slice of cheese pizza coveted by Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin), leaving McCallister to sleep on an empty stomach with bed-wetter cousin Fuller. Below is the only exchange I ever had with Buzz/Ratray, which was clearly a ploy for him to accept my “friendship”. Brett Newski: “Devin, thanks for the autograph last weekend. You’re the man!” Devin Ratray: “No problem. Anytime!”

Ratray has since “unfriended” me from Facebook for reasons unknown. I did not find this out until today, after spotting a bootlegged copy of Home Alone at a Vietnamese DVD stand. It was a reminder that my only online celebrity friendship has fallen from glory. On this day, I too feel to have fallen from glory.

AGENT ORANGE is probably the greatest travesty in US war history. The War Museum in Saigon is brutal, but you don’t have to go there to see its effects on the Vietnamese people. Children and grandchildren of Vietnamese exposed to Agent Orange in the Nam War are born with deformities to this day. Short, crippled arms and legs are a common sight around the city, using a skateboard as a wheelchair. Sorry, I know it's a BUZZ kill.

After two hours of intensity at the Vietnam War Museum, I joined a tour group to the war fields of suburban Saigon. On the bus, we were briefed on the history of the Vietnam War in broken English over a broken Karaoke system that cost about 1,000,000 Vietnam Dong ($48).

Having a tour guide you cannot understand is like having an overweight personal trainer. I slumped back in my seat, hiding my headphones under my hoodie as not to offend Joe, our 4 foot nothin’ Vietnamese tour guide leading the bus to the famous Cu Chi Tunnels. These tiny, underground holes were the Viet Congs base of operation for the Tet Offensive in 1968. They are about the size of an ass crack. Not even half an American person could fit in some of these tunnels. Since the war, the tunnels have been widened to fit Cheeseburger shaped American bodies for tourism purposes.

As you know, tourism gift shops are generally tacky, overpriced, and encompass Webster’s definition of “terd.” But not this one. In the Cu Chi gift shop you can forget about novelty T-shirts. Here, one can literally buy tickets to the gun show. For just $1.50, you can shoot an AK-47 or an assortment of other Rambo artillery from the war. (In Cambodia, you can blow up a cow with a Bazooka for $200). One can also buy sandals made from a Goodyear tire for $2 (USD).

We complete the tour. Our guide Joe is pumped up about his job, rattling off his war knowledge at 300 mph in Vietnamese English. I try to concentrate, but can’t look away from the four-inch long solo grey hair dangling from his chin (it's bad luck to cut your mole hair in Vietnam) Despite communication barriers, I love this old guy. Joe informs me that his two favorite bands are CCR and the Jimi Hendrix Experience, both of which he discovered during his time as a hippy intellectual during Nam. No fightin’ for Joe. Truly a fortunate son.

"The Maths" World Video Premiere

Last year while touring Switzerland, I found myself in a goat barn shooting this music video. Goats were everywhere. Their cowbell necks jingling as they yelled "bahhhhh" across the hay, wallowing in their own shit & licking each others bung holes. Opposite the goats, friends Thomas, Nilo, & Anabel hand painted a beautifully massive art mural that took lord knows how long (respect). We finished the shoot, shared a wee doobie, & went on our way. The video almost never saw daylight, as the editor bailed & the footage was left soaking in an old hard drive for a year. In the knick of time, American bad ass Joe Ramos came on in middle relief to cut the footage & save the day.

The song is originally a balls-to-the-walls folk/punk number written by my South African friend Jon Shaban. He's a Cape Town legend & plays in a band called The Shabeen. We've done several tours in S Africa together & I hold him in the highest regard. As a little indie band, every share of the video helps out. Much respect, Brett

Bummer in Belfast

IMG_20150502_165041 (1)After a smashing great night in Belfast, we found a load of our merch to be stolen. The irony is that the chump stole a box of shirts that say "Please don't be a wanker" on them. Meat heads will be meat heads... In happy news, I'm eating pea soup in Amsterdam & squatting in a 4th floor attic space (thanks Willems, you legend). Last time I was here I bought a bike off a junkie for 13 euros, so I'm going to go pick that up now & ride around.

The "American Folk Armageddon Tour" trucks on thru the Netherlands this week, then Germany & Switzerland through May with Rocky Votolato. We've been on the road in Europe almost 8 weeks and will finish with a Scandinavia run, ending at Working Class Hero Festival in Norway before flying home to Wisconsin. Keep fighting the good fight out there and we'll see you soon.

-Brett

Please help us boost morale again by grabbing a disc or a shirt below. You can also donate a sandwich if you just want to help us bounce back from our little bummer in Belfast. Every little bit helps! Order Online

DIY Touring: Claiming tiny victories & avoiding soul crushers

pop upIt's been a strange couple years. Since moving back from Vietnam & hitting the road permanently, I've had my van stolen in Detroit, puked on myself + shit my pants all while driving a rental car around the world in lonely isolation. But it hasn't been all a bummer fest. During these tours I've hung out with countless local legends, played over 500 quality shows and met a few of my musical heroes including Butch Vig, Jeff Tweedy, Chuck Ragan, & Sean Bonnette of Andrew Jackson Jihad. On 7 May in Amsterdam, I'll tell the tales and help fellow musicians avoid the darker side of touring at PopUp Music Conference.ragantweeedy4

Rolling Stone & losing your best friend to a girl

brett newski - rolling stone 2-15

Bro·mance

ˈbrōˌmans/ noun informal

The complicated love and affection shared by two straight males.


The first time you fall in love typically ends in serious damage to your inferior vena cava. In this case I lost my first real girlfriend and dude-friend at the same time. My band also broke up. Total soul crusher.

Here's a song about losing your best friend to the opposite sex premiered by Rolling Stone Germany:

 

[soundcloud]https://soundcloud.com/brett-newski/i-want-my-best-friend-back[/soundcloud]